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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

1st CAMPAIGNER CHALLENGE


So for our first challenge we have been given the prompt "The door swung open" to begin our 200 word or less flash fiction or poem. For an added challenge we can end it with "The door swung shut" and stop at 200 words exactly.
I've decided to try my hand at poetry and stick with the theme that is my life. ;) Heck, I already over used the life as a road analogy why not abuse the doors and windows in your life analogy??
For more info on this challenge and upcoming challenges check out The Campaign at Rach Writes. If you didn't sign up to be a Campaigner you can still participate in the challenges but just won't be eligible for prizes.

OK, on to my poem.
Please forgive me, I don't write poetry so this is going to be rough.
Feel free to make fun of my attempt at rhyming. ;)



The Door

The door swung open
and I peered inside,
fearing what it may be.

A world,
another realm,
dark and foreign
with strange voices calling to me.

I stepped upon the threshold,
to balance amid two worlds,
to hope for bold.

Yet it didn't come.

Instead I longed for comfort
of the world
that crumpled behind me
and feared the world
so new
stretched far as my eyes could see.

"What trepidation is this?"
The voices asked.
"To dread the thrill
of adventure's deep kiss.

No more looking back
the world you knew
has turned to black,
it no longer exists for you."

The voices spoke truth,
for in my heart
I already knew.

With a deep breath in
I stepped into the world
and it caught when I felt myself fallin'
but when I opened my eyes
I was flying not falling
and a new life unfurled.

"This is your home now
make of it as you desire,
only you can make your fear bow,"
They said.
"We only ask that you soar higher."

I nodded, not asking why
I knew they were right, but
I needed to say goodbye.
As I turned around

The door swung shut.


Aha! 199 words!


93 comments:

  1. Wow, that was the first poem I've read in the challenge! What a great job and in 199 words, WTG.

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  2. Hey, mine is poetry too, except metered verse disguised as prose. Yours is beautiful and scary, entering the unknown. Mine is meant to make you smile at the very well known, at least if you recognize the old tales combined to make a new one. http://sherahart.blogspot.com/2011/09/dont-just-stand-there-open-door.html

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  3. Nice poem! I like the idea of standing between two worlds as one shuts. It's very powerful!

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  4. This is the first poem I've read in this challenge. I'm truly impressed!! Great job.

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  5. This is the first poem I've read, too! Good on you for breaking the mold. I enjoyed this. Such a sense of discovery.

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  6. love it! This is the first poem I've also read, it was a nice change in pace.

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  7. Poetry is hard to come by in this campaign challenge, but you pulled off a good one. Love the detailed description and the character's hesitation.

    Great job, Amanda! :)

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  8. This is fabulous! I haven't seen any poems in the Challenge yet, so this was a very refreshing and inspirational read. Fantastic job!

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  9. I do love that you did something unique! Great job. :)

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  10. Well done. I get your curiosity and your trepidation.

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  11. That was incredible. I've not read anything like this in the Campaign challenge. Excellent job! :)

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  12. This is the first poem for the first challenge I've seen. Good job!

    Feel free to visit my story attempt:

    http://theresamilstein.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-challenge.html

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  13. this was darkly beautiful. I loved it.

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  14. You're FAR better with poetry than I would ever be, haha. Nicely done!

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  15. Great poetry. I don't know anything about poetry but this sounded good. My all time favorite line is that "We only ask you to sour higher." That's brilliant! Good job :)

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  16. I agree with Sher, that was beautiful as well as scary. It's the first poem I've read in the contest... it's also the most original entry I've read so far.

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  17. Whoa Amanada - this is really good. It's the first poem I read for the challenge btw. You nailed it!

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  18. Aww! You guys are so awesome! I'm currently in "Aww, shucks" mode. Lol! Thank you!!
    I had a busy day yesterday so I'll be playing catch up this afternoon and tomorrow morning getting around to everyone 's entries. :)
    I've seen some awesome ones so far!!

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  19. I'm impressed. I couldn't have done a poem. Nice job. Mine is #72

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  20. It is always lovely to come across a poem in a challenge and I've read a few this time. Lovely work. We are looking for poets at Romantic Friday Writers (http://fridaynightwriters.blogspot.com). We have about half a dozen writing excellent poetry for our Friday challenges of 400 words with a romantic element. We'd love you to check us out.
    Denise

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  21. I liked your imagery, and the discovery that beyond the door you flew, not fell. Good for you for venturing out of your comfort zone!

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  22. An evocative, stirring poem. Lovely job. My little hero, Victor Standish, feels that in a leap of faith, you either make it to the other side or somehow you'll learn how to fly! Roland

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  23. What a great poem! Frightening and exciting too. Fantastic job.

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  24. Kudos to you! Poetry is hard (at least for me:) but you pulled it off beautifully.

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  25. Bravo! A poem for the challenge with a deliciously mysterious edge

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  26. I really enjoyed this entry. For me, your poem had hypnotic and mysterious elements, which captured and held my attention throughout the entire piece.

    As a judge for this challenge, I’m delighted to say that you’ve been shortlisted to move into round two. Congratulations! :-)

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  27. Great job! Beautiful and scary. I love the imagery. This is the first poem I have read in the campaign. I love it!

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  28. This is lovely, Amanda! Such an uplifting, inspiring piece. Beautifully written and executed!

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  29. This is the first poetry entry I've come across...although I see in the comments that someone else has one too.

    Amanda - This is simply lovely. I've a preference for positive entries, so I absolutely enjoy yours. Great word choices within the lines - eloquent and precise in naming the emotion you wish to elicit. ~ Nadja

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  30. I'm useless at poetry, but I like the thoughts you have here of going forward into new experiences and leaving the old behind.

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  31. This is a great poem! I haven't seen any others so far in the challenge, well done.

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  32. This is the first poem I have read so far and I was blown away. What an excellent job, especially as you don't normally write poetry. Bravo!

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  33. Wonderful!

    What trepidation is this?"
    The voices asked.
    "To dread the thrill
    of adventure's deep kiss.

    Loved this stanza!

    a new life unfurled.
    Great word choice!

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  34. So happy to see another poet! This is lovely. No apologies necessary.

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  35. Wonderful, Amanda! I'm so impressed that you did this in a poem. And so thought-provoking!

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  36. "No more looking back
    the world you knew
    has turned to black,
    it no longer exists for you."

    I really like this stanza! I think you did a great job with this. I am not a big poetry writer either but I think it is an excellent way to stretch ourselves as writers. Awesome work Amanda!

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  37. I'd say you succeeded! Love the line's about adventures deep kiss and making fear bow.

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  38. Nice poem, good job!! Sounds like our protag has stepped into a fascinating world!

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  39. Loved that it was a poem. Loved it!

    Thanks for posting a comment on mine! I'm a new follower!

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  40. This is a lovely piece of poetry - I haven't read any others like this yet. What a great line: "the thrill of adventure's deep kiss." Wow!

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  41. I've never been good at poetry so I'm always thrilled to find someone who does it well. Beautiful job!

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  42. Nice poem! My take on it is that the person went through the door to heaven, unsure if she wanted to go or to return to her life. :)

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  43. There were so few poems - this was refreshing. Great flow through this.

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  44. Hiya Amanda! I'm helping to judge this contest, and I've chosen your flash fiction entry to be short-listed for the semi-finals. Congratulations!!

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  45. That's a great poem, Amanda. I really enjoyed it. Do you publish poetry in other venues? There's lots of great zine out there for spec poetry.

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  46. Hey, that was great! And well done on being shortlisted!

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  47. Really impressive. I am the world's worst poet, so I appreciate the good ones out there.

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  48. This is a really unique use of the challenge words and I love the emotion you draw out of this. The language flowed beautifully.

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  49. Wow! Thanks so much Cally and Alleged!!
    I love reading all your comments everyone! All of you are so encouraging and sweet. :)
    Sorry, I've been glued to the tv today watching all the 9/11 footage so I'll be doing major catch up tomorrow. :-)

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  50. This is not an attempt at poetry-- you nailed it! Beautiful! I loved it and now I'm going to vote for it! :D

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  51. Awesome! I think that poem speaks to everyone one time or another in life.
    You got a vote from me!

    Stobby

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  52. The new could be quite a lot of things, but to me it seemed like reincarnation. Not that I am a believer, just my thought. Very nice poetry.

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  53. I like poetry. Something very spritual and thus identifiable to everyone you have created here. The last lines are brilliant. As she turned around to say goodbye, the door swung shut. Well, that's a tragedy stepping into the unknown. Hope she has come to a better place. Thought provoking!

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  54. Big kudos from me to you for tackling the challenge in poetry form. I don't write poetry either and I didn't dare try it here. But you jumped right in and did it. Excellent! Very much enjoyed it, too!

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  55. The only poem so far that I've read in the campaign and loved it!

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  56. So nice to see a poem in response to the challenge. You've addressed a universal theme with mysterious imagery!

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  57. This is the first poem I read in the challenge and it is sooooo great! Absolutely loved it!

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  58. This is the second poem I've seen but this one is better. Hope you make it to third cut. thanks for visiting my blog and commenting.

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  59. Hi, Amanda, I'm a fellow Campaigner in the Suspense group, finally getting around to say hello to everyone. I think that poem is WONDERFUL. You've expressed deep and powerful feelings and great hope. I don't see myself as a poet, either, but love to play around with it in the privacy of my head.

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  60. Excellent! I love that you worked the challenge into a poem. Great job.

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  61. Very nice! It was nice reading something different and poetic. I enjoyed souring with your character! :)

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  62. Really enjoyed your poem. Dark, mysterious and wonderfully written.

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  63. Oooh, first poem I've read for the Challenge. It feels like a poem about the fear of success, which I can identify with all too well. Nicely done! :-)

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  64. Well the comments certainly agree with me (and my oh my have you garnered quite the lot of them)!! The poem was SO CREATIVE and OH SO FABULOUS!! I loved it. It was beautiful!!! Very... aheam... poetic - if that's allowed.

    Great blog! So glad I was able to stop by! I do hope you'll stop by my blog! I'd love to meet you!

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  65. I love the line, "To dread the thrill
    of adventure's deep kiss." I agree with Crystal in that to me it speaks about the fear of success, which is something I really struggle with. Lovely!

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  66. What a great poem! It flowed nicely and painted a strange, interesting picture of a new world full of hope.

    Great job!

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  67. This is a really well written poem. I think this was an added challenge to all the challenges you met. Somehow I find this much more difficult to accomplish and accomplish well. I'm a little in awe.

    By the way, I gave you an award on my blog today. Versatile Blogger - I think you entry proves that! http://www.kthanna.com/2011/09/awards-writer-challenges-and-timetravel/

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  68. This is a great poem, and also the only one I came across in the challenge, well done!

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  69. I adore poetry. I can write rhyme, but lovely prose, I'm not so good at. You've done a great job here! Best of luck with this! You said in the beginning you don't write poetry, here's to you exploring that possibility!

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  70. Awesome poem! This is the only poem I've read from the campaign. I was going to do a poem at first, but I haven't written one in a long time, so prose was easier for me.

    Have a great weekend.

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  71. All I can say is....wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

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  72. Hi Amanda, I never even thought to try a poem. I like that last line that pulls it back from a fantasy world to an emotion we can all relate to. I like it.

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  73. I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award. I love reading your blog so wanted to share it with others.

    http://dawnall.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/im-a-versatile-blogger-award-nominee/

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  74. Dude, this reminds me of C.S. Lewis' l'Apprenti Sorcier. Pretty cool to see a poem, and a lovely and haunting one at that.

    Also, I've chosen your blog for the Versatile Blogger Award. I see that dawnall has already given you one, but have a backup if you want it :)

    http://samdelapena.wordpress.com/2011/09/17/its-saturda-all-up-in-here-people/

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  75. Great to see a poem as part of the challenge, and one with a strong theme too!

    Claire

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  76. I've awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award! Here are the details: http://lesannberry.blogspot.com/2011/09/blog-post.html. I hope you're pleased. I've enjoyed visiting your blog and want others to do so. Thanks!

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  77. Such a great post! Love visiting your blog!

    Lola x
    http://lola-x.blogspot.com

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  78. Beautiful job with this challenge. Nothing to make fun of here. It was refreshing to read a poetic entry.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  79. Great job on the poem! It's the first poem I've read in the Challenge, so far. Interesting premise and use of the doors; well done!

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  80. I enjoyed the poem, especially because it summed up a lot of what I've experienced as well. Sometimes you just have to take that step into the unknown, to make a "leap of faith", even though you know there will be no going back.

    Life can be scary and exciting that way, but a door opening (even when another one closes) is always going to be better, to me, than a single doorless room.

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  81. I dunno' anything 'bout the challenge, but I did enjoy your poem. I often write poetry that has varying lines, as well. I'm not sure if it is actually poetry, as some have commented otherwise when mentioning it in response to my poems. However, poetry or not, I enjoyed yours very much.

    ~ Yaya

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  82. Love this poem!
    New follower

    http://curseofthebibliophile.blogspot.com/

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  83. An interesting poem and very on the 200 word mark. I wonder though if it would have looked better presented left to right rather than centered? I think it is difficult to use shapes in poems, especially as you are working to a specific criteria, it would be like juggling two different objects at the same time. The other structural point I would make is that if you could make all of the stanzas the same length, 4 or 5 lines, I think the poem would look better. For me form is very important and I think if we can work within an accepted framework it adds something to our work. Still an interesting poem.

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