Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I, Amanda M. Milner, have never been and hopefully will not soon be DEAD.
This is merely a blogfest people.
If it seems a touch morbid, that's because it is.
We're all a little twisted around here.

On to the delusional doom.

I would be ok if HE was my Reaper! ;)

To: Mom, Dad, siblings, friends, grandparents and the additional masses that are my family,

If you're reading this then I am probably dead. No mom and dad, this is NOT a suicide letter.

I WISH this was under my control.

It started a week ago with a headache. Actually, a headache seems too tame of a word for what I've been having. It was more like a brain bomb. BAM! Out of no where. The first time I screamed out in pain and fell into a bush on the way to school. Unfortunately a school bus of little ninth grade twits went by at the same moment and they seemed to get a kick out of my agony. Sorry, I'm getting a little off track.

But I swear I'm gonna haunt those jerks!  

Anyway, a bright light flashed in front of my eyes and then the pain was gone. It freaked me out and the rest of the day I flinched at the slightest twinge of pain but it didn't come back.

Until the next morning.

Same thing, BAM, headache, flash of light. But this time I saw something in the light. A shadow of a figure. It lasted a little longer then vanished without a trace of pain for the rest of that day.

But the next day...same time, same horrific pain, flashing light and the figure. This time I saw the figure moving, everything was blurry, like when I just wake up and my eyes refuse to focus. I felt this intense anxiety because even though I wanted the pain to stop I also knew I needed more time to figure out who this figure was. I KNEW I needed to find out soon.

The next morning I got my wish for longer and I WANTED. TO. DIE. I apologize because I am sure the neighbors think your daughter is bat shit crazy mom and dad. The figure moved about like a uber old black and white reel movie. The light flashed over and over, each time showing a little more. The person was outside, by a street, haunched over and stumbling.

Day five. Thank God for Saturday. I knew where the figure, the person, was. It was the same street I was having these visions. The person was stumbling, hands over his or her ears, falling into the street as a car stops inches from him or her. Then he/she jumps up and walks Right. In. Front. Of. A. Bus. Not just any bus, THE bus. I watched the bus slam into this person and send him/her flying.

Day six. And I thought the other head bombs hurt. I can't be sure but I think I screamed 'stop'
the whole time. It wasn't a flashing light. It was clear. Sound and all. Like watching the most intensely painful movie EVER. I knew instantly as I watched this 'person' walking cautiously down my sidewalk who SHE was. I recognized everything. The sights, sound and even smells. It was like I was there walking behind her. When she grabbed her head and screamed a chill went down my spine and flinched like I felt her pain on top of what I was feeling then. I tried to yell for her to Watch out! as she stumbled into the street and the car screeched and honked. But no sound came out. I tried to run to her when I heard the bus and a kid yell "freak" out of his window. But my feet wouldn't move. I wanted to close my eyes. But they wouldn't close. Right before the bus hit a light flashed and I was in front of her. And I watched as MY face reacted to the bus barreling down on ME. As MY body flew through the air and came crashing down in a crumpled, lifeless heap.
It was ME.

And tomorrow is Monday. I've always hated Mondays.

So I wanted to tell you what happened and say that I love you all and I'm sorry.

Oh, and please don't forget about Freckles my hamster. He eats twice a day and likes the occasional Cheetos.


OMG! OMG! I am SO sorry!
I forgot I had this set up to post on Monday after school if I didn't come home.
My bad!
Yea, I just stayed home sick.
I had the headache and I understood why dead me flipped out.
It was just the scene of me getting hit over and over.
Seriously sucked.
But since I was in bed instead of stupidly walking to school...
No bus.
So....yeeeaaaa, never mind all that and if you all wouldn't mind not sending me to the loony bin I would be totally grateful.
Thanks! ☺