Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I, Amanda M. Milner, have never been and hopefully will not soon be DEAD.
This is merely a blogfest people.
If it seems a touch morbid, that's because it is.
We're all a little twisted around here.

On to the delusional doom.

I would be ok if HE was my Reaper! ;)

To: Mom, Dad, siblings, friends, grandparents and the additional masses that are my family,

If you're reading this then I am probably dead. No mom and dad, this is NOT a suicide letter.

I WISH this was under my control.

It started a week ago with a headache. Actually, a headache seems too tame of a word for what I've been having. It was more like a brain bomb. BAM! Out of no where. The first time I screamed out in pain and fell into a bush on the way to school. Unfortunately a school bus of little ninth grade twits went by at the same moment and they seemed to get a kick out of my agony. Sorry, I'm getting a little off track.

But I swear I'm gonna haunt those jerks!  

Anyway, a bright light flashed in front of my eyes and then the pain was gone. It freaked me out and the rest of the day I flinched at the slightest twinge of pain but it didn't come back.

Until the next morning.

Same thing, BAM, headache, flash of light. But this time I saw something in the light. A shadow of a figure. It lasted a little longer then vanished without a trace of pain for the rest of that day.

But the next day...same time, same horrific pain, flashing light and the figure. This time I saw the figure moving, everything was blurry, like when I just wake up and my eyes refuse to focus. I felt this intense anxiety because even though I wanted the pain to stop I also knew I needed more time to figure out who this figure was. I KNEW I needed to find out soon.

The next morning I got my wish for longer and I WANTED. TO. DIE. I apologize because I am sure the neighbors think your daughter is bat shit crazy mom and dad. The figure moved about like a uber old black and white reel movie. The light flashed over and over, each time showing a little more. The person was outside, by a street, haunched over and stumbling.

Day five. Thank God for Saturday. I knew where the figure, the person, was. It was the same street I was having these visions. The person was stumbling, hands over his or her ears, falling into the street as a car stops inches from him or her. Then he/she jumps up and walks Right. In. Front. Of. A. Bus. Not just any bus, THE bus. I watched the bus slam into this person and send him/her flying.

Day six. And I thought the other head bombs hurt. I can't be sure but I think I screamed 'stop'
the whole time. It wasn't a flashing light. It was clear. Sound and all. Like watching the most intensely painful movie EVER. I knew instantly as I watched this 'person' walking cautiously down my sidewalk who SHE was. I recognized everything. The sights, sound and even smells. It was like I was there walking behind her. When she grabbed her head and screamed a chill went down my spine and flinched like I felt her pain on top of what I was feeling then. I tried to yell for her to Watch out! as she stumbled into the street and the car screeched and honked. But no sound came out. I tried to run to her when I heard the bus and a kid yell "freak" out of his window. But my feet wouldn't move. I wanted to close my eyes. But they wouldn't close. Right before the bus hit a light flashed and I was in front of her. And I watched as MY face reacted to the bus barreling down on ME. As MY body flew through the air and came crashing down in a crumpled, lifeless heap.
It was ME.

And tomorrow is Monday. I've always hated Mondays.

So I wanted to tell you what happened and say that I love you all and I'm sorry.

Oh, and please don't forget about Freckles my hamster. He eats twice a day and likes the occasional Cheetos.


OMG! OMG! I am SO sorry!
I forgot I had this set up to post on Monday after school if I didn't come home.
My bad!
Yea, I just stayed home sick.
I had the headache and I understood why dead me flipped out.
It was just the scene of me getting hit over and over.
Seriously sucked.
But since I was in bed instead of stupidly walking to school...
No bus.
So....yeeeaaaa, never mind all that and if you all wouldn't mind not sending me to the loony bin I would be totally grateful.
Thanks! ☺


  1. Amanda, that was quite an entry. It held me onto the end. Your parents would, if they truly had read it, hold you by the shoulders and shake them for scaring them so! LOL. Have a great Wednesday, Roland

  2. Amanda, suggest you have those headaches checked as they are REALLY twisting your mind. LOL


  3. @Roland~ Oh believe me, I inadvertently, yet sufficiently, scared and freaked out my parents plenty in my childhood years. As a parent I am nervously keeping an eye on my creative, dreamer type kid as my parents watch, rubbing their hands together and cackling something about 'payback". ;)
    @Mary~ Lol! I think it might be too late for me.

  4. Oh, fabulous! I love the build... seeing more and more but not realizing it's you until it's too late to stop it! very nice!

  5. Haha! Great ending. I honestly thought the "Update" wouldn't be a part of the story, but somehow more apologizing to your family like you did above. HA!

    Great entry. Very intense in all the right places. Well done :)

  6. @Hart~ ☺ Thank you!! ☺
    @Rosie~ Haha! Thanks! Figured I wasn't ready to kill off my teenage self yet. ;)